Eden: Creating, Sharing and Staying connected
Youth Ambassador Eden shares the many different ways she found to express herself creatively during create week
Bereavement counsellor, Rebecca Wemyss, was published in the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy following talks with our Youth Ambassador team.
Grace: “My grief definitely changed over time. My dad died when I was eight and I received support really soon after. Counselling helped massively with my communication and expressing how I felt. By the time I was 16, my understanding of what had happened when my dad died had changed, and I felt I needed counselling again. Now, aged 23, I don’t feel the need for professional counselling support anymore. I am much more aware of my triggers and feel peer support is helpful.”
Maya: “I was five when my dad died and I received counselling immediately afterwards. When something happens at that age, it becomes the new normal very quickly, so having counselling right away allowed me to see that this thing that had happened was big and needed to be talked about. Later, my grief started to manifest itself in different ways, mainly in the form of health anxiety and I had counselling again aged 15 to address this.”
Olivia: “My journey through grief began when I was 12. Being the eldest sibling, I instinctively took on the role of being the ‘strong one’ within my family and found myself dealing with my emotions in silence. I had counselling for a year and a half initially and opening up to a counsellor allowed me to express my grief in a way that felt safe and effective. I returned to counselling age 16 during lockdown and again when I was 18.”
Grace: “When my dad died, I didn’t really know what was happening, and counselling helped me to get in touch with my emotions. I think for those who are older, it can hit them at different times, so it’s more about the support being available when a person needs it, which might not be straight away.”
Maya: “I don’t think there’s a right or a wrong time, it’s just when it’s needed and that’s different for everyone. I think receiving counselling straight after my dad’s death was helpful for me because it helped me realise that there was something to feel sad about and an issue to address. I don’t think I was too young [at five]; I would have just gone on without addressing it if I hadn’t had counselling.”
Olivia: “I believe that addressing grief early on is vital, waiting too long to seek help can make it increasingly challenging to open up about our emotions and needs. My counselling journey so far has taught me that it’s OK to seek help at whatever age you are, or however long ago your loved one passed away and that’s a sign of strength, not weakness.”
Grace: “I was very blessed to be in the Winston’s Wish catchment area when I was bereaved, which meant there was no hassle getting support.”
Rebecca: “I see, because, at that time, our service was only available face to face, whereas now, all our bereavement counselling is online and more easily accessible.”
Grace: “Yes, and by the time I was 16 and needed that ‘top up’ support, I had moved to another area and was turned away by two different services. I didn’t find the counselling offered by school helpful, so my mum and I ended up having to drive two hours to another area, as this was the only way I could access counselling.”
Maya: “I was lucky that my mum is a psychotherapist and knew where to look for support for us; if she had a different profession, I don’t know if it would have been that easy. In general, I didn’t find school support helpful, my tutors weren’t approachable, and the counselling service was not well advertised. Nowadays, cost is an issue for private counselling.”
Olivia: “My family and I were incredibly fortunate in being able to access support after my dad died, but potential barriers for people could be lack of awareness of available services or emotional barriers such as the initial fear of sharing your grief with a complete stranger.”
Grace: “I found my counsellors extremely useful and supportive, what helped was that they explained how things were going to work and I always had a choice about what to say and do. The one thing I suggest for counsellors working with bereaved children and young people is that they need specialist training. I once visited a counsellor who was not bereavement trained and she didn’t know what to do with me! I think one of the misconceptions of grief is that you get over it. I don’t think I’ll ever get over my grief, but I have learned how to deal with it.”
Maya: “Counsellors should look for what helps a child engage and express themselves, for me this was writing rather than drawing or colouring, even aged five. I didn’t find the concept of ‘homework’ helpful when I had counselling at 15; I wanted to keep the therapy within that one hour time slot. Also, I personally found long silences hugely uncomfortable and actively unhelpful. I was looking, at that age, for someone to guide the conversation more.”
Olivia: “The key to effective counselling for bereaved children and young people
is adaptability, creating a safe space and providing a variety of therapeutic approaches to address their unique needs. I think it’s important to recognise that grieving is an ongoing process and can resurface at any point in life, so it’s essential to encourage ongoing support and follow-up sessions for children and young people as and when they need them.”
This article first appeared in the March 2024 issue of BACP Children, Young People & Families Journal published by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. https://www.bacp.co.uk/bacp-journals/bacp-children-young-people-and-families-journal/ ©BACP 2024.
Whether you’re struggling with your feelings, not sure how to express your thoughts or trying to find ways to remember your person who has died, we have lots of ideas to help.
View grief toolkitIf you need to talk, we’re here to listen. Our bereavement specialists are available to speak with right away. No appointments or long waiting lists, just real-life support. You can chat with us anonymously if you wish and share whatever you are feeling. Nothing about your grief is off limits. We promise to listen, not judge and can offer advice and guidance if needed. You can speak to us as little or as often as you want. Start a conversation now. You can speak with us between 8am and 8pm, Monday to Friday (except bank holidays). You must be 13 or older to receive support via WhatsApp.
Click the 'chat with us' button at the bottom right of your screen between 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday.
Call us for free on 0800 02 888 40 between 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday.
Text or WhatsApp (13+) us on 07418 341 800 between 8am-8pm, Monday to Friday.
For urgent support, please call 999.
If you need to speak to us in a language other than English, we can use interpreters over the phone, and we can use the Relay UK app if you have hearing or speech difficulties.
Youth Ambassador Eden shares the many different ways she found to express herself creatively during create week
Youth Ambassador Miranda shares some tips on getting through the summer holidays for bereaved young people.
Youth Ambassador Brooke reflects on her grieving journey and how her brain works after being diagnosed with autism in her early twenties.
Youth Ambassador Ben shares a piece of writing he calls 'The Writer in Mourning' to explore the subject of writing about grief.
Youth Ambassador Nell shares a reflection on her first Father's Day without Dad, to the Father's Day coming up this year.
Our Youth Team share what they do on Father's Day and their advice to others.
Our Youth Team share their thoughts on the way they talk about death and dying as bereaved young people.
Approaching the age your person was when they died might feel really daunting, but you're not alone in feeling this way.
Amy, Youth Ambassador, shares how she feels approaching her 2nd Mother's Day without her mum.
Milestones are moments or days in your life that mark something important to you, and following the death of someone significant, these times can sometimes bring upon us another wave of grief.
Tips from Bereavement Specialists as well as voices of bereaved young people grieving this Mother's Day.
Advice from bereavement specialists about understanding and honouring your grief when nothing is left behind after someone dies.
Youth Ambassador Ellie writes a letter to 'younger me' about grief then and now.
Youth Ambassador Bethan writes a letter to a younger self, reflecting on grief over time.
When you're bereaved, adjusting to changes and new relationships can take a long time. Hear from other young people and find ways to manage your feelings.
Bereavement specialists share how grief can change and feel different over time for bereaved young people.
Managing your thoughts and feelings, adjusting to changes in your life, and grieving before someone has died.
Anniversaries can be especially difficult to cope with, and it’s important to remember that everyone experiences grief in their own way – there is no right or wrong way.
Amy, Youth Ambassador, shares her personal experience of feeling alone at Christmas as well as some advice for other young grieving people.
Discover ways our Youth Ambassadors manage their feelings at Christmas time and into the New Year without their person.
Dom, Volunteer and former Youth Team member, shares a reflection on grief over time as a 27 year old.
How you can encourage your school, college or university to adopt a radical new way of supporting bereaved students.
Between a wedding and a grave: bearing witness in a broken world. What a childhood visit to Pakistan taught me about grief, hope, and the stories we still need to tell.
Youth Ambassador Jasmin shares her experience of sibling loss and ways she copes with grieving for her brother.
Youth Ambassador Ben shares his reflection on being a son when you are bereaved of a parent.
Grieving for someone you have no memories of can feel complicated. Discover ways to express your grief from our Bereavement Specialists.
Our bereavement support team share ways to cope when feelings about your grief come up unexpectedly.
Feeling angry when you're grieving is completely normal, but it's important to find healthy ways to cope with your feelings. Hear from our Youth Ambassadors.
Whether your bereavement happened recently or a long time ago, grief can re-surface when starting a new venture in your life, such as starting a new job. Here are some things to consider if you’re grieving and entering the world of work.
Grief can sometimes feel difficult to talk about, making it hard to make sense of your feelings. Poetry can offer a way to explore those emotions.
When a student dies from your school, it can bring up lots of big feelings, not just for the students who were close to them but also for those who did not know them.
Grief might make special days feel different for you, but does that mean you should not celebrate?
Ways to cope with your grief this summer when you have a lack of routine.
When someone important to you has died, it can be very overwhelming to think about where to start. Who do you need to inform? How do you do it? Where do you get help and advice?
Support, guidance, and ways to manage your grief after the death of your baby or child. This is written specifically for young parents aged 25 or under.
Some tips for taking care of yourself when you're grieving for a celebrity or public figure.
How MrBeast's YouTube video* was about more than just losing 110lbs and what we've taken from it. Written by a Child Bereavement UK Bereavement Support Worker.
Understanding your feelings after the death of someone important to you who didn't know or support your authentic identity.
Advice from our bereavement support team about navigating grief with a learning disability.
Four young people from the Child Bereavement UK Youth Team have shared their memories of their dads and their tips for others coping with Father’s Day while grieving for their dads.
Ashleigh, Youth Ambassador, shares how she feels about her first Father's Day without her dad and includes some tips for other young bereaved people.
Grief is a really common theme in TV, film, books, and more, so why is it such a taboo subject for some people to talk about?
It can be really hard knowing how to support your partner when they are grieving for someone important who has died. It's completely okay to be unsure of what to say or do. Here are some suggestions of ways you can try to help.
Whilst it never goes away, grief does start to feel different over time. But what can that look or feel like?
One thing we all have in common is life and death. There are lots of different traditions to mark the occasion of a person dying.
Hear from Natasha, Youth Ambassador, about how reading helps her process her bereavement.
Bereavement support tips for those who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Tap the live chat button or scroll down to find ways to contact Child Bereavement UK for further support.
Discover ways to store memories of your parents and express how you're feeling in your grief.
Find ways to cope with grief and its emotions as a teen or young adult without their parents.
Child Bereavement UK Bereavement Support Workers share top tips for looking after your mental health when you're grieving.
Feeling confused by your grief? You're not alone. Our Bereavement Support Team share some reasons why it can be confusing.
Over winter, with the darker evenings, feelings of loneliness can seem more overwhelming than ever.
Iman, Youth Ambassador, shares how she grieves at Christmas even though she doesn't celebrate the occasion.
Crying is a normal response when your person has died, no matter how long ago. There's no right or wrong way to grieve, and it's okay to let it out.
A guide for grieving young people from the Child Bereavement UK Bereavement Support Team.
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
Winter and the Christmas holidays can be a difficult time of year. Here are five ways to remember your person this season.
Child Bereavement Uk Bereavement Support Workers share their 8 top tips for bereaved teens and young adults through the colder months.
Youth Ambassadors share the ways they remember their person digitally, through photo albums, playlists, and more.
Youth Ambassadors, Daisy, Freya, and Katie, share their personal views of their own secondary losses as a result of their bereavement.
Hear from some of the Youth Team about times when their teachers have helped them with their grief.
Our Bereavement Support Team have written some guidance on how to manage grief when you feel like you aren't able to be open.
Lilly shares an introduction to her grief experience and why it's so important to her to be a Child Bereavement UK Youth Ambassador.
Hear from some of their Youth Team about how they found support at uni.
Angus, Content Creator, says, "This message is about embracing change and not letting current moments pass you by."
Coping strategies to support you after a teacher has died
Tips from our bereavement support team to help you with big life changes like moving out as a young adult.
Useful tips to help you understand and cope with your grief.
Feeling sad that your person isn't there, guilty that you're celebrating your results, or proud of yourself for your results. There's no right or wrong way to grieve.
It can be very difficult knowing what to say and to be around someone who has experienced the death of someone close. Adults find it difficult too, so try not to feel bad about this.
The death of a friend may feel extremely difficult and can feel as significant as that of a family member. Whatever you're feeling is valid, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Jack, Content Creator, writes about how managing his grief through running has led to him winning the Leeds Half Marathon 2024!
Iman, Youth Ambassador, explains about Eid and shares what it's like for her and her family to grieve during Eid.
Miranda shares about how she uses music in different ways to help express her grief and emotions.
Ashleigh writes about how both writing and music have helped her in her grief.
The Child Bereavement UK bereavement support team share top tips for managing grief this Father's Day.
Grace's dad died from cancer when she was eight years old, she shares how she remembers her dad on Father’s Day.
Feelings of worry are very normal when you're grieving. Read on to discover some ways to manage these feelings.
Useful tips for exam season if you're grieving
Youth Ambassador, Iman, shares about her Eid celebrations as a grieving young person
Content Creator, Angus shares his thoughts
Useful tips for exam season
Interview with Mark O’Sullivan, writer of Tell Me Everything
Tips to help improve your sleep when you're grieving
How poetry can be a useful way to express your feelings
Bereavement counsellor, Rebecca Wemyss, joins Youth Ambassadors to discuss bereavement for the BACP Children, Young People & Families Journal.
Young people share what it's like to grieve while studying at uni.
Our bereavement experts are available to speak to for immediate support on weekdays from 8am to 8pm.
Get top tips from bereavement experts, and hear from Youth Ambassadors, Henri and Teigan, about their experiences of Mother's Day.
Phoebe's mum died when she was nine. She shares how she feels on Mother’s Day and how she remembers her mum.
Youth Ambassador, Elin, shares how her life changed after her mam got ill and died when she was 13, leaving her to be cared for by her godparents.
For Children’s Grief Awareness Week, young people share what grief means to them and how it shapes their lives in this heartfelt reflection.