Lilly: why I signed up to be a Youth Ambassador
Lilly shares an introduction to her grief experience and why it's so important to her to be a Winston's Wish Youth Ambassador.
When someone important to us dies, our life as we know it changes forever. Waves of emotions can hit you at any time, especially in the first weeks and months and we can sometimes be left questioning who we are and what we are doing in this world.
“I never imagined there would be a day that my sister wouldn’t be here”
My perception of the world changed in an instant. I turned 24 years old just three days before my sister died. We were very close in age and most of my childhood memories are of us playing; when we laughed and sang and messed around. Our relationship changed as we grew. My sister started a family and got a job and I moved away for university, but we still remained close. I never imagined there would be a day that my sister wouldn’t be here.
After I got over the initial shock of losing my sister and my emotions started to settle, I became acutely aware of my own mortality. I had an ‘I could die tomorrow’ mindset. This led to me making bigger decisions more easily and allowed me to re-assess my life and the direction I was going.
“I feel a deep sadness that my sister didn’t know I was gay”
I cannot pinpoint the exact moment I accepted myself for being gay, but I remember thinking about my sexuality and memories of times when I had pushed those thoughts away came flooding back. I had spent my whole life ignoring who I was for many reasons. Once I allowed myself the freedom to explore my sexuality, I knew without a doubt that I was gay and today I proudly and openly call myself a lesbian.
I often wonder how my life would have looked if I’d accepted myself earlier or if my sister didn’t die would I have even accepted myself at all? I feel a deep sadness that my sister didn’t know I was gay. I sometimes think of how she would have reacted and conjure up a funny story in my head of how I would have told her, or what she would have said. I know she would have accepted and loved me regardless of who I loved.
Grief is often life changing and for me it allowed me to finally be who I was all along. If you are grieving and also struggling with or exploring your sexuality you are not alone. Make sure you reach out to those around you who you trust and be kind to yourself. Grief can be hard enough to navigate and thinking about our sexuality and how it relates to our grief can feel even harder.
If you are grieving and part of the LGBTQ+ community, we're here to listen.
Talk Grief is powered by Winston’s Wish, a childhood bereavement charity that supports grieving children and young people. If you want to talk to someone about your grief, call us on 08088 020 021 (open 8am-8pm, weekdays), email ask@winstonswish.org or use our online chat (open 8am-8pm, weekdays). If you need urgent support in a crisis, you can contact the 24/7 Winston’s Wish Crisis Messenger by texting WW to 85258.
Lilly shares an introduction to her grief experience and why it's so important to her to be a Winston's Wish Youth Ambassador.
Hear from some of their Youth Team about how they found support at uni.
Angus, Content Creator, says, "This message is about embracing change and not letting current moments pass you by."
Coping strategies to support you after a teacher has died
Tips from our bereavement support team to help you with big life changes like moving out as a young adult.
Useful tips to help you understand and cope with your grief.
Feeling sad that your person isn't there, guilty that you're celebrating your results, or proud of yourself for your results. There's no right or wrong way to grieve.
The death of a friend may feel extremely difficult and can feel as significant as that of a family member. Whatever you're feeling is valid, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Jack, Content Creator, writes about how managing his grief through running has led to him winning the Leeds Half Marathon 2024!
Iman, Youth Ambassador, explains about Eid and shares what it's like for her and her family to grieve during Eid.
Miranda shares about how she uses music in different ways to help express her grief and emotions.
Ashleigh writes about how both writing and music have helped her in her grief.
The Winston's Wish bereavement support team share top tips for managing grief this Father's Day.
Grace's dad died from cancer when she was eight years old, she shares how she remembers her dad on Father’s Day.
Feelings of worry are very normal when you're grieving. Read on to discover some ways to manage these feelings.
Useful tips for exam season if you're grieving
Youth Ambassador, Iman, shares about her Eid celebrations as a grieving young person
Content Creator, Angus shares his thoughts
Useful tips for exam season
Interview with Mark O’Sullivan, writer of Tell Me Everything
Tips to help improve your sleep when you're grieving
How poetry can be a useful way to express your feelings
Young people share what it's like to grieve while studying at uni.
Our bereavement experts are available to speak to for immediate support on weekdays from 8am to 8pm.
Get top tips from bereavement experts, and hear from Youth Ambassadors, Henri and Teigan, about their experiences of Mother's Day.
Phoebe's mum died when she was nine. She shares how she feels on Mother’s Day and how she remembers her mum.