What no one tells you about grieving during summer holidays
Ways to cope with your grief this summer when you have a lack of routine.
Summer can feel really confusing when you’re grieving. Everyone’s posting about festivals, holidays, and group chats might be full of plans... but maybe you’re just trying to get through each day. If you're bereaved, especially recently, summer might feel overwhelming, lonely, or just... weird.
When you're grieving, routine can be really important and helpful. School, college, uni, or work can help create structure, but summer often means all that goes out the window. Everyone seems to be “living their best life" online, and you might feel pressure to do the same, even if you’re not ready.
Holidays and breaks can also make someone's absence feel more intense. Maybe you always went away together, or maybe they were the one who made your summer special. It's okay to acknowledge that things are different and whatever you are feeling is valid.
You might feel sad, angry, numb, or guilty for enjoying something. Or maybe you're feeling annoyed that others don’t get it. All of that is okay. Grief doesn't clock off for summer. There’s no right or wrong way to feel, and there is no timeline to grief so whether it's your 1st, 10th, 20th summer without your person, you're allowed to grieve. Be honest with yourself and know that it’s okay to need something different this summer.
1. Be real about how you're feeling
You don’t owe anyone a “summer vibes only” version of yourself. If you’re having a rough day, that's okay, and you can tell your friends and family that. You might be surprised by how understanding people can be.
2. Make your own plans
If a big party or trip feels like too much, that’s okay. Do what feels manageable. That might mean saying no to something or planning things that bring you some joy, even if they're small.
3. Honour the person you miss
You could light a candle, visit a place they loved, wear something of theirs, or play their favourite song. Remembering them in your own way can help you feel connected.
4. Talk to someone
That might be a friend, Winston's Wish, or an online community. You don’t have to go through everything alone.
5. Be kind to yourself
Some days will feel rubbish, and some days might surprise you. It's okay to go at your own pace this summer.
"Summer used to feel like the happiest time of year, long days, warm nights, a chance to breathe. But ever since I lost my dad, summer has taken on a different kind of stillness. And in that stillness, grief gets louder. There’s no school, no uni, no packed schedule to distract me. Just time. Time to think, to remember, to feel everything I try so hard to push down the rest of the year.
I think about my dad almost every single day. I think about how I’ll never hear his laugh again, never see that smile that made everything feel okay, never get to hug him or hear him tell me he’s proud. And honestly, I don't think that's something that I will ever truly accept.
People talk about acceptance like it’s a destination, like you’ll eventually arrive there if you just wait long enough. But I don’t think I’ll ever truly accept that he’s gone. Not fully. There are moments when it feels real, but then there are moments when it still feels impossible.
Summer makes it all feel heavier somehow. Maybe it’s the contrast of everyone outside enjoying the sun, planning holidays, making memories, while I’m sat with this big, invisible weight that no one else can see. If you're feeling this too, I just want you to know you're not alone. Grief doesn’t take a break in the summer. It doesn’t care about the sunshine or the blue skies. It’s okay if your heart feels heavy when everything around you looks light.
Be gentle with yourself. It’s not about “moving on.” It’s about moving forward with their memory. Carrying their love in a way that feels bearable. Some days will be better than others, and that’s okay too.
You are allowed to feel joy and sadness at the same time. You are allowed to miss them every day and still keep living, growing, and healing, even if that healing isn’t perfect.
If no one has told you lately: you’re doing great. Even on the days it doesn’t feel like it. Your grief is real. Your love is real. And so is your strength."
Whether this is your first summer without them or it’s been years, grief can come and go in waves. It doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.
There’s space for your grief here. You’re allowed to miss them, to cry, to laugh, to feel numb, to be angry... all in the same day.
And if you ever need someone to talk to, we're here to listen.
Talk Grief is powered by Winston’s Wish, a childhood bereavement charity that supports grieving children and young people up to 25. If you want to talk to someone about your grief, call us on 08088 020 021 (open 8am-8pm, weekdays), email ask@winstonswish.org or use our online chat (open 8am-8pm, weekdays). For out of hours mental health support, you can use Shout's 24/7 messenger service by texting WW to 85258. For urgent support, please call 999.
Ways to cope with your grief this summer when you have a lack of routine.
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