Sharing memories of our dads for Father’s Day
Four young people from the Winston’s Wish Youth Team have shared their memories of their dads and their tips for others coping with Father’s Day while grieving for their dads.
Grief and its emotions can sometimes feel harder to handle during important times in life, especially when you experience change, such as when you’re preparing for or sitting exams. Grief can still affect you during exams even if the person died a long time ago.
Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone though, and not all young people will struggle with exams whilst grieving, although some will.
Here are some tips for you to consider if you are taking exams, wherever you are in your grief journey. Hopefully at least some of these tips will be helpful and feel relevant for you.
Talk with someone or a few people you trust - share honestly with them how you’re feeling about the exams, tell them about any worries you have to do with any aspect of the exams, share your thoughts about anything that might be helpful, and tell them how they can best support you before, during and after the exams, both practically and emotionally.
Try not to overwhelm your brain by revising for hours at a time. This is unlikely to be effective and more likely to cause you to feel overwhelmed, frustrated and disheartened. Instead, try short revision sessions of up to 20 minutes, followed by a 10-minute break.
Give your brain time to process information, it's best to avoid pushing it too hard or for too long without a break. Remember to build times of rest and relaxation into your schedule to help you to function at your best.
Do different things that calm and relax you, that you enjoy and give you joy, and help you to feel safe. Aim to do some of these before exams, between exams or before you go to sleep. It doesn’t have to be anything big.
Try to involve as many of your 5 different senses as you want to, by having things that you enjoy looking at, holding, tasting, smelling and hearing; things which give you a sense of calmness, feel good and comforting. You can also combine different senses, for example, by listening to music you like whilst looking at photos you enjoy or eating a snack you like!
Recognise that exams are part of your education and life, but your self-worth, identify, value and contribution to the world go way beyond this experience. Your performance in an exam does not define who you are now or your future self.
Practice life skills (also known as grounding techniques) before your exams, so that it will be easier and feel more natural for you to use them when things might be feeling a bit harder when exams are in full flow.
These work by helping to calm you and can help reduce feelings of worry, panic and overwhelm. They may include:
Think about if you want to have something small that helps you feel connected to your person. It could be something you keep in your bag, or perhaps wearing a piece of jewellery that either belonged to the person who died, or has their ashes in, or something that was given to you by the person who has died.
Before the exam, being able to hold or look at the item could be a way for you to connect with your person, which may help to reassure and comfort you during the exams. Again, after the exam has finished, you can revisit the item as a way to calm yourself and reconnect.
If you’ve lost your motivation to study or don’t see the point or value in exams anymore because of your grief, that’s understandable. Try some of the tips on this list to bring yourself back into the present and try your best if you can.
Remember that you may have the option to re-sit the exams in the future if you want to, and this is something you could speak to your teachers or tutors about.
If one exam doesn’t go well, it can be easy to automatically think that all the rest of your exams will go the same way and you’re doomed. Try to avoid thinking in this way - one exam is completely different from the next. Just like how in your grief you can feel different from one moment to the next, try to look at the next exam as a blank page and clear your mind before going into the examination room. Revisit the grounding techniques above to find ways to clear that busy brain of yours!
If you’re concerned that you might get distracted during the exams and start thinking about the person who has died and need time to re-focus back on the exam questions, talk with your school or college before the exams and ask if they can allow you some additional time, as a reasonable adjustment to support you because of your grief which is affecting your learning.
If you’re concerned that you might feel exposed and become emotional in front of other students, and maybe you don’t want your grief on display publicly, talk with your school before the exams to ask if you may be able to sit in a smaller room on your own without other students. Some schools and teachers may be able to make these changes, but it's important to ask in advance to find out and have some reassurance.
If this isn’t possible, you could ask school if you can pause your exam or take a break if you do start to become upset. Explain to them that you may need 5 minutes or so to reconcentrate and calm yourself before you return to do the rest of your exams. You can also ask your school whether they will allow you some additional time to do the exams if you take a break, because your grief will have affected your learning.
Talking about your grief with teachers and professionals can feel really daunting. You can use our on-demand services to speak to the bereavement support team, who you can practice conversations with or ask for tips on how to go about talking about it with new people.
If you need to talk, we’re here to listen. You can speak to the Winston’s Wish bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. You can chat with us anonymously if you wish and share whatever you are feeling. Nothing about your grief is off limits. We promise to listen, not judge and can offer advice and guidance if needed. You can speak to us as little or as often as you want.
Click the blue 'chat with us' button at the bottom right of your screen between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
Call us for free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
For out of hours mental health support, you can use Shout's 24/7 messenger service by texting WW to 85258.
For urgent support, please call 999.
If you need to speak to us in a language other than English, we can use interpreters over the phone, and we can use the Relay UK app if you have hearing or speech difficulties.
Four young people from the Winston’s Wish Youth Team have shared their memories of their dads and their tips for others coping with Father’s Day while grieving for their dads.
Ashleigh, Youth Ambassador, shares how she feels about her first Father's Day without her dad and includes some tips for other young bereaved people.
Grief is a really common theme in TV, film, books, and more, so why is it such a taboo subject for some people to talk about?
It can be really hard knowing how to support your partner when they are grieving for someone important who has died. It's completely okay to be unsure of what to say or do. Here are some suggestions of ways you can try to help.
Whilst it never goes away, grief does start to feel different over time. But what can that look or feel like?
One thing we all have in common is life and death. There are lots of different traditions to mark the occasion of a person dying.
Hear from Natasha, Youth Ambassador, about how reading helps her process her bereavement.
Bereavement support tips for those who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Tap the live chat button or scroll down to find ways to contact Winston's Wish for further support.
Discover ways to store memories of your parents and express how you're feeling in your grief.
Find ways to cope with grief and its emotions as a teen or young adult without their parents.
Winston's Wish Bereavement Support Workers share top tips for looking after your mental health when you're grieving.
Feeling confused by your grief? You're not alone. Our Bereavement Support Team share some reasons why it can be confusing.
Over winter, with the darker evenings, feelings of loneliness can seem more overwhelming than ever.
Iman, Youth Ambassador, shares how she grieves at Christmas even though she doesn't celebrate the occasion.
Crying is a normal response when your person has died, no matter how long ago. There's no right or wrong way to grieve, and it's okay to let it out.
A guide for grieving young people from the Winston's Wish Bereavement Support Team.
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
Winter and the Christmas holidays can be a difficult time of year. Here are five ways to remember your person this season.
Winston's Wish Bereavement Support Workers share their 8 top tips for bereaved teens and young adults through the colder months.
Youth Ambassadors share the ways they remember their person digitally, through photo albums, playlists, and more.
Youth Ambassadors, Daisy, Freya, and Katie, share their personal views of their own secondary losses as a result of their bereavement.
Hear from some of the Youth Team about times when their teachers have helped them with their grief.
Some tips for taking care of yourself when you're grieving for a celebrity or public figure.
Our Bereavement Support Team have written some guidance on how to manage grief when you feel like you aren't able to be open.
Lilly shares an introduction to her grief experience and why it's so important to her to be a Winston's Wish Youth Ambassador.
Hear from some of their Youth Team about how they found support at uni.
Angus, Content Creator, says, "This message is about embracing change and not letting current moments pass you by."
Coping strategies to support you after a teacher has died
Tips from our bereavement support team to help you with big life changes like moving out as a young adult.
Useful tips to help you understand and cope with your grief.
Feeling sad that your person isn't there, guilty that you're celebrating your results, or proud of yourself for your results. There's no right or wrong way to grieve.
It can be very difficult knowing what to say and to be around someone who has experienced the death of someone close. Adults find it difficult too, so try not to feel bad about this.
The death of a friend may feel extremely difficult and can feel as significant as that of a family member. Whatever you're feeling is valid, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Jack, Content Creator, writes about how managing his grief through running has led to him winning the Leeds Half Marathon 2024!
Iman, Youth Ambassador, explains about Eid and shares what it's like for her and her family to grieve during Eid.
Miranda shares about how she uses music in different ways to help express her grief and emotions.
Ashleigh writes about how both writing and music have helped her in her grief.
The Winston's Wish bereavement support team share top tips for managing grief this Father's Day.
Grace's dad died from cancer when she was eight years old, she shares how she remembers her dad on Father’s Day.
Feelings of worry are very normal when you're grieving. Read on to discover some ways to manage these feelings.
Useful tips for exam season if you're grieving
Youth Ambassador, Iman, shares about her Eid celebrations as a grieving young person
Content Creator, Angus shares his thoughts
Useful tips for exam season
Interview with Mark O’Sullivan, writer of Tell Me Everything
Tips to help improve your sleep when you're grieving
How poetry can be a useful way to express your feelings
Young people share what it's like to grieve while studying at uni.
Our bereavement experts are available to speak to for immediate support on weekdays from 8am to 8pm.
Get top tips from bereavement experts, and hear from Youth Ambassadors, Henri and Teigan, about their experiences of Mother's Day.
Phoebe's mum died when she was nine. She shares how she feels on Mother’s Day and how she remembers her mum.