How do people celebrate death around the world?
One thing we all have in common is life and death. There are lots of different traditions to mark the occasion of a person dying.
There are very many different feelings that emerge from grief, these feelings can range from sadness, despair, guilt, frustration through to anger. There is no right or wrong way to feel when processing your grief. What is important is how you express those feelings – it’s about finding ways to express your grief that feel helpful and useful. We have put together some ideas that you might like to try:
Writing a letter
You could write a letter to the person who has died and maybe say something that you wished you had been able to tell them before they died. Alternatively, letter writing can be useful when you feel unable to tell someone close to you how you are feeling. You don’t have to give it to that person right now, but could keep it and in a few days, weeks or months decide to read all or parts of your letter to them.
Listening to music
Finding music that really connects with how you are feeling can be a very helpful way of letting out difficult thoughts and feelings. You might find it helpful to create a playlist of your favourite songs, or songs you want to listen to at a certain times, for example if you are having a bad day.
Getting your body moving
Channelling emotions through physical activity can really help release the pressure valve. Find out what works for you – yoga and meditation may be helpful for some, whereas, others prefer to be more energetic. A walk which focuses on the world around you, noticing small things and listening out for sounds can often help relax your mind and body. Running or going to the gym, may also help to express emotions such as anger, or worry. Exercise can also release endorphins (feel good hormones) in your brain which may help lift your mood.
Being creative
Often it is hard to put our thoughts and feelings into words, and so you might wish to do something creative. An alternative way of expressing your feelings might be through making something, baking, drawing, painting, writing poems or stories.
Connecting with others
Grief can often leave people feeling very disconnected with the world; there is a sense of feeling alone and different from others as they continue on with life as before. However, connecting with people and spending time with them can help how we feel.
You might have a close friend that you want to spend time with, or find that it feels easier spending time with your family. Other people also find it helps to connect with others who they can talk to about how they are feeling, for example through online grief forums or you can talk to us using our online chat or ASK email service – click here.
Don’t put pressure on yourself to attend social events when you really don’t want to, it’s ok to not be ok, and to want to have time to yourself. However, there will be time when you feel positive and want to socialize with your friends and find yourself smiling and having fun. Remember that’s ok too. Grief is not just being sad, it can be lots of different feelings.
What’s important is finding that person or group that you can connect with in whatever way works for you.
Here is a few examples of ways young people have told us they used to express their grief:
“I liked to cut out pictures of magazines and stick them in a scrapbook. Some of the pictures were things I liked, or words that described how I was feeling. It felt like a way to put into pictures how I was feeling about my dad’s death.”
“When my mum died, I found it really hard to talk to anyone about how I was feeling. I would spend a lot of time in my room alone. I found drawing pictures, of animals mainly, helped me to feel calmer. Sometimes I didn’t want to draw a picture, but just put colour or shapes on the page. It helped my anger when I scribbled hard on the paper, or used my left hand, instead of my right hand, so that I didn’t care if the picture looked good or not.”
“When I was experiencing grief, it just felt really messy and I didn’t know what I was feeling because I just felt so much so much of the time. I found it helpful to turn to drawing and paints to help express some of what I was feeling. I didn’t have the words but I found I was drawn to using inky blues and purples, that when I dripped them haphazardly onto the paper the colours would bleed into the page – and somehow that seemed to express something of the pain going on inside. The wonderful thing was that it didn’t matter what it looked like – what mattered was the process of doing it and helping to get some of what I experiencing out.”
One thing we all have in common is life and death. There are lots of different traditions to mark the occasion of a person dying.
Hear from Natasha, Youth Ambassador, about how reading helps her process her bereavement.
Bereavement support tips for those who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Tap the live chat button or scroll down to find ways to contact Winston's Wish for further support.
Discover ways to store memories of your parents and express how you're feeling in your grief.
Find ways to cope with grief and its emotions as a teen or young adult without their parents.
Winston's Wish Bereavement Support Workers share top tips for looking after your mental health when you're grieving.
Feeling confused by your grief? You're not alone. Our Bereavement Support Team share some reasons why it can be confusing.
Over winter, with the darker evenings, feelings of loneliness can seem more overwhelming than ever.
Iman, Youth Ambassador, shares how she grieves at Christmas even though she doesn't celebrate the occasion.
Crying is a normal response when your person has died, no matter how long ago. There's no right or wrong way to grieve, and it's okay to let it out.
A guide for grieving young people from the Winston's Wish Bereavement Support Team.
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
Winter and the Christmas holidays can be a difficult time of year. Here are five ways to remember your person this season.
Winston's Wish Bereavement Support Workers share their 8 top tips for bereaved teens and young adults through the colder months.
Youth Ambassadors share the ways they remember their person digitally, through photo albums, playlists, and more.
Youth Ambassadors, Daisy, Freya, and Katie, share their personal views of their own secondary losses as a result of their bereavement.
Hear from some of the Youth Team about times when their teachers have helped them with their grief.
Some tips for taking care of yourself when you're grieving for a celebrity or public figure.
Our Bereavement Support Team have written some guidance on how to manage grief when you feel like you aren't able to be open.
Lilly shares an introduction to her grief experience and why it's so important to her to be a Winston's Wish Youth Ambassador.
Hear from some of their Youth Team about how they found support at uni.
Angus, Content Creator, says, "This message is about embracing change and not letting current moments pass you by."
Coping strategies to support you after a teacher has died
Tips from our bereavement support team to help you with big life changes like moving out as a young adult.
Useful tips to help you understand and cope with your grief.
Feeling sad that your person isn't there, guilty that you're celebrating your results, or proud of yourself for your results. There's no right or wrong way to grieve.
It can be very difficult knowing what to say and to be around someone who has experienced the death of someone close. Adults find it difficult too, so try not to feel bad about this.
The death of a friend may feel extremely difficult and can feel as significant as that of a family member. Whatever you're feeling is valid, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Jack, Content Creator, writes about how managing his grief through running has led to him winning the Leeds Half Marathon 2024!
Iman, Youth Ambassador, explains about Eid and shares what it's like for her and her family to grieve during Eid.
Miranda shares about how she uses music in different ways to help express her grief and emotions.
Ashleigh writes about how both writing and music have helped her in her grief.
The Winston's Wish bereavement support team share top tips for managing grief this Father's Day.
Grace's dad died from cancer when she was eight years old, she shares how she remembers her dad on Father’s Day.
Feelings of worry are very normal when you're grieving. Read on to discover some ways to manage these feelings.
Useful tips for exam season if you're grieving
Youth Ambassador, Iman, shares about her Eid celebrations as a grieving young person
Content Creator, Angus shares his thoughts
Useful tips for exam season
Interview with Mark O’Sullivan, writer of Tell Me Everything
Tips to help improve your sleep when you're grieving
How poetry can be a useful way to express your feelings
Young people share what it's like to grieve while studying at uni.
Our bereavement experts are available to speak to for immediate support on weekdays from 8am to 8pm.
Get top tips from bereavement experts, and hear from Youth Ambassadors, Henri and Teigan, about their experiences of Mother's Day.
Phoebe's mum died when she was nine. She shares how she feels on Mother’s Day and how she remembers her mum.