How to cope with your first Christmas without your person - Youth Team
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
When someone dies, it can be incredibly hard and you may be feeling overwhelmed. As a grieving young person, you might experience lots of different emotions and thoughts that can be difficult to understand. Grief is not something you can control, it’s a natural response to a bereavement.
Our bereavement support team have written these 10 tips to help you cope with your grief. To chat to someone for instant support, scroll down to find out how to contact the team.
Remind yourself that what you are feeling is a natural response when someone important has died.
Grief is your body naturally responding when someone important has died. You might experience many emotions and thoughts when you're grieving, and they might come and go all the time. Whatever you're feeling is completely normal.
Everyone grieves differently because everyone is different.
Grief is as individual as a fingerprint, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. It can help to not compare your grief to others, and remind yourself that how you’re feeling is valid and is unique to you.
It’s okay to feel sad, angry, confused, worried, guilty, exhausted, relieved and so much more. And it’s also ok to enjoy yourself.
At times, it can feel overwhelming experiencing so many intense emotions in such a short amount of time. Know that these emotions are a part of grief and completely normal. At times, you may feel unsure whether it’s okay to enjoy yourself, it is, and you’re still allowed to have fun.
Finding ways to express your feelings can help them feel less overwhelming.
Sometimes it helps to cry; sometimes it helps to shout; sometimes it helps to just sit and feel your emotions. Find what works for you, one day a coping tool may work, and the next it may not. This is because grief can often feel different on different days. Having a bank of ideas to support yourself can help you to feel less overwhelmed on those difficult days.
Find someone who really listens to what you are thinking or feeling (and doesn’t try to tell you what they think you should be feeling) .
Talking to a trusted adult or friend that can sit with you and your feelings and allows you to express yourself with no judgement can really help. Remember, you can also speak with a bereavement support worker at Winston’s Wish on our live chat or help and support line services, we’re here to listen.
Take a moment to remember something about the person who died, you may have all sorts of memories.
Often, when someone dies, we are left with different feelings and memories of that person. Spending time thinking about these memories can help to remember your person and the fullness of your relationship.
Talk about the person who died to people who also knew them and to those who never met them.
If it helps you, keep talking about your person. Talking to people who knew them might help you discover something new about your person, which may bring comfort. Tell people who never met them all about them if you feel comfortable to, they can learn about your person through you.
Remember you can choose when you talk about what has happened and who you talk to.
This is your grief and your special person who has died, so it’s important that you talk when you want to, and with people you trust. It’s okay to politely let someone know that you’re not wanting to talk about it right now.
Every day is different.
Some days you can only think about the person who died; some days you might think about them only a little bit. Both are okay. You won’t ever forget your person, so having days when you think about them a little less than others is completely normal. There may also be days with lots of reminders of your person so you’re thinking about them a lot, this is also completely okay.
Look after yourself: find something to do that makes you feel good.
Is there something you enjoyed doing previously? Or would trying something new make you feel good? There are physical and relaxing activities you could try from running or swimming, to mindfulness and yoga. You could try many different things and discover what makes you feel good.
Always be patient with yourself, you’re adjusting to what has happened and coping with your grief. It’s important to do what works for you, and there are things you may want to try to help you cope with your grief. We’re here at Winston’s Wish to listen and support you. Reach out to us if you'd like to chat to a bereavement support worker for instant support.
If you need to talk, we’re here to listen. You can speak to the Winston’s Wish bereavement team using one of our confidential on-demand services. You can chat with us anonymously if you wish and share whatever you are feeling. Nothing about your grief is off limits. We promise to listen, not judge and can offer advice and guidance if needed. You can speak to us as little or as often as you want.
Click the blue ‘Chat with us’ button at the bottom right of your screen between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
Call us for free on 08088 020 021 between 8am-8pm, weekdays.
If it’s urgent, text WW to 85258 to speak with someone from our trusted partner, Shout. Open 24/7.
If you need to speak to us in a language other than English, we can use interpreters over the phone, and we can use the Relay UK app if you have hearing or speech difficulties.
Three of our Youth Ambassadors, Anna, Libby and Angharad, reflect on their first Christmas without their person.
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